Mean Girls

I struggle with knowing what to do when it comes to protecting my kids.  When is it too much, when is it not enough?  When do I let them try and figure it out on their own or step in and take care of the situation?  I struggle with this all of the time.
The Girlchick tends to be more on the sensitive side.  She came home from school the other day and was telling us that her best friend at school has been teasing her.  This isn't the first time, but it really bothers me that at this young age they are teasing each other and being mean to each other.  Where do they learn this from - older siblings, their parents?  I don't get it!  She said that her friend was making fun of her clothes.  That they aren't pretty and nice and don't match.  I do have to say that The Girlchick has her own sense of style.  She doesn't always match, doesn't always have her hair brushed, she loves crazy socks that she will mix and match, loves to wear dresses that twirl, sometimes she will even wear different shoes.  But it is her style.  I stopped telling her what to wear when she was 3.  It was a battle that I didn't want to fight and there really was no point in it.  But the fact that she gets teased for it hurts my heart, I just want to march up to that mean girl and tell her to stop and that she is just jealous.  But how does an adult do that to a 6 yr old without looking really stupid and being a big bully.  I just want to protect my child and her innocence.  I don't want her to have to deal with it and know what it is.  But I know it's not right, I would be doing her a disservice and stunting her and her abilities to cope and deal with difficult situations.  But I struggle with how to do it properly and still protect her.  I want her to hang on to that innocence as long as possible.

The greatest sound on earth - a baby laughing

Nothing beats the sound of a baby laughing, except maybe for the sound of two babies laughing.  I took the first video Oct 29, so the boys had just turned 6 months old.  The boys were just starting to sit up, but were not very good at it on their own.  They were still just figuring each other out, and sometimes were still not aware of each other.  They have changed and grown so much since then.  They talk to each other, play with each other, fight with each other, and I really think they love each other, or at least I hope they do.  I know they love their sister.  She is the world to them.  I can't get over how they just have to hear her voice and they are off to find her, no matter what they were doing, they stop to go find her.  They still amaze me. 

This is one of them playing nice together that makes me think that they really love each other.  This was taken Feb 23, 2012 so they just turned 10 months.  They now actually look for each other.  They are always looking for the other one, when we put them into the stroller, the car seats, they will always look around to make sure their brother is with us.  They do not like it when I have to just take one to the doctor's office.  The one that is left behind cries until we get back.  The one that is taken is not happy and fussy. 

And yes - they are in baby jail.  We really didn't have to use it with The Girlchick.  We would put it up around the Christmas tree or the birds cage just to keep her from getting into it.  But with Thing One and Thing Two - we use it all the time because they are in to EVERYTHING!  :)  You can't leave them alone they can't be trusted.  The Girlchick would follow me around the house from room to room, but if you take your eyes off of them for a second, they will be standing on books and trying to climb the TV.  Yes at 10 months they have already done this.  So yes they are in baby jail.  

Over the river and through the woods... to Grandpa Pat's and Uncle Bubby's

My dad and brother live out in the country.  This past weekend we went out to their house to celebrate Grammy's (aka Roberta my step mom) birthday.  It had been raining cats and dogs and we were not sure we were actually going to get together since the weather was so bad.  We ended up heading out there a little later than we wanted, but still ended up going.  Man I almost wished we had taken Nathan's truck.  I was worried that we might get stuck in all the mud on the driveway.  We had taken my Tahoe and you could feel the wheels spinning and sliding.  Good thing I knew my dad had a truck and tractor that could pull us out if we got stuck.  But we made it. 

We had a really good time despite the boys not having a nap and we were driving during their normal lunch time.  Although they seem to be going through a bit of stranger danger, but it is only with women.  They would go see Uncle Bubby, Grandpa Pat, and Grandpa Phil they would not go see Grammy or Aunt Melissa.  Grammy was a little miffed - it was her birthday celebration after all.  And she LOVES her some babies. 

The Girlchick had a lot of fun playing with her cousin and stomping around outside in the mud.  She was pretty ticked off when it was time to leave.

But it was good to see everyone and nice to hang out.  Just wish we could do it more often and they didn't live an hour away.

Yummy.....

So I posted that I had started making my own baby food.  The update is that the boys really seem to enjoy it now.  They are still having issues trying new foods that they do not gag and puke on.  They have the interest, they sit there and try and grab at your plate or just stare at you while you are eating.  It's actually a little creepy when they stare and then start licking their lips.  Freaks me out a little bit.  So we went to dinner at Red Robin, I fed them the food that I brought with us and they seemed like they were done and full.  Then our food was brought out and I couldn't eat without getting attacked from all sides.  I had to move their high chairs away so that they couldn't reach my plate.  I ended up giving them some of the black beans off my plate and they could not get enough of them.  So I had the waitress bring us some more and they polished them off.  I did have to apologize to grandma though the next day for the really stinky bean poopy.  Here is Thing 1 enjoying his beans.

Happy 10 Months

Thing 2 10 months old

Thing 1 10 months old

Today the boys are 10 months old.  Man the time has gone by so fast.  I've mentioned before that I am a somewhat mourner when it comes to my kids.  I feel like I just never get to enjoy them enough and cherish the moments.  I just want more time..... more time to see them grow and be happy, enjoy each new phase of development for just a bit longer.  You get stuck in survival mode and just getting through the day or the week or the month and forget to stop and enjoy the here and now.  I really need to remind myself (constantly) to enjoy the moments, big and small.  Like today, I came home from work and the boys were so happy to see me and The Girlchick.  I loved it.  I just wanted to hug and kiss on them forever.  They also just wanted to grab on to your fingers pull up and walk, and walk, and walk,...... and walk some more.  They would start to whine and cry if you let go and they had to crawl.  Here are the 10 month pictures.  I do have to say that I actually forgot it was today so I had to take the pictures after they had gone to bed.  But they were taken so I am happy about that.

9 months...... a little late

These are the pictures I took when the boys turned 9 months old.  They were not yet crawling on their hands and knees, nor were they very good at pulling up, but they were determined to get up the stairs.  They would try and try and try, they finally got up about 2 of them and they were SO proud of themselves.  We have since had to put the baby gate up and they are constantly pulling on it trying to get to the stairs so they can crawl up them.  I think if they get much heavier and they are both tugging on it at the same time, they might be able to actually pull it down.  It is amazing what they have accomplished in a few weeks.  They are not yet 10 months old and they are fully mobile.  They are just starting to cruise, crawling on all fours, love to stand up and will pull themselves up on anything and everything.  When this picture was taken (1/22/12), they were still really wobbly and not standing very well at all, still doing the inch worm and army crawl, just barely pulling up if you held on to their hands.  They (I say they, but Thing 1 isn't a performing monkey and will only do it when HE wants to) are waving "hi", and "bye", Talk to the cookie monster jar on top of the fridge, will point up to the light, clap, and dance if you sing to them or if there is music on.  They are really interactive with their Big Sister and just are mesmerized by her.  They just have to hear her voice and they will immediately look for her or try to find her.  It can drive me crazy if I am trying to nurse them or feed them, but it is really sweet that they love her so much. 

Thing 2 at 9 months practicing on the stairs before we put up the baby gates





Thing 1 with his tongue out - this is his signature move, his tongue hanging out to the side



Happy Valentines Day!

I am going to post the pictures from this morning of the kids and their valentines.  I am EXTREMELY embarrassed to post these, especially since I like to think of myself as hobbyist photographer.  But our mornings are crazy around here, and they are what they are, and at least I have them to mark the day.  So here they are in all their glory.  The boys got some bath toys and The girlchick got a giant Rapunzle coloring book with markers, a dry erase board to practice writing and spelling, and we had some flowers delivered to her school (I found these online and thought that they were perfect: Lady Bug Pail). Although the picture shown is a bit fuller and bigger than what actually arrived, but she still loved it and it was only $20.  She loved getting to have flowers delivered to the class room and show them to all of her friends.  It was a lot of fun for me and special.  My mom used to always have flowers delivered to me (usually at home) on my birthday and valentines.  On my birthdays it was always roses and the number matched the age I was turning.  It is something that I would like to continue and have be a special thing with my kids.  I'm not sure how the boys will feel about it or if I need to come up with something different for them.  I need to think about that one a little more. 

Thing 2 looking very sleepy trying to open his sister's goodie bag



Thing 1 opening his goodies

The Girlchick waiting very patiently to open her gift

Mourners vs. Rejoicers

Thing 1 and Thing 2 are finally crawling. As in full on crawling, not the inch worm that Thing 1 does, or the army crawl that Thing 2 is known for. I'm happy and sad at the same time. Sad since it seems to be going by so fast. I feel like I am not cherishing all the moments and rejoicing in their milestones as much as I told myself I would. With The Girlchick, I felt like it all passed me by so quickly, and I didn't get to enjoy her baby stages enough. I would get sad and lament each new stage like it was over forever never to be seen again. I told myself if we ever had more kids that I would try to slow down and embrace it all, enjoy it to it's fullest and rejoice in each passing milestone. I find myself doing that more this time, but I still feel like it is not enough and it's too fast. It is different this time around, I'm not as sad and regretting that she is growing up, I just wish I had a little more time to enjoy the current stage before we moved on to the next. A good friend told me that there are 2 types of parents regarding the stages our kids go through, the mourners and the rejoicers. With The Girlchick I was a mourner, with the boys I am more of a rejoicer, but with a slight leaning towards mourner. There just seems to never be enough time. Where does it all go?

180 jars

The boys are a little behind in their skills when it comes to eating. They have issues with thicker food and food with texture or small bits. They gag on it to the point of actually throwing up. It makes finding baby food a bit of a challenge. For their age they should be eating more table food, but they choke and gag and puke, which is stressful for them and me. So I have been on a mission to find food that is not so thick and textured that they have trouble with it (but still helps get them some texture to get them headed in the right direction) and food that is still healthy without all the extra added crap, yet still affordable. Baby food is expensive! Especially if you prefer organic, which I do. But I have noticed that just because it is organic doesn't mean that it doesn't have fillers and crap in it, it just means it is organic fillers and organic crap. I'm sorry, but crap is still crap, even if it is organic. Baby food should be pure and simple. Babies do not need heavy cream, butter, oil, and all the other stuff that I can't pronounce.

So I decided to make food for the boys. I did this with The Girlchick, but on a much smaller scale. Plus I had a lot more extra time back then. It has taken me two days of cooking, mixing and storing, but I did it. Nathan and I estimate that it ends up being roughly the equivalent of 180 jars of baby food. That's a lot of food. It is all 100% organic, no fuss no muss pure and simple. And I hope that it comes out cheaper (as of right now I haven't done the math to check if it is cheaper). I hadn't planned on it taking so long, but it takes me twice as long to cook, or do anything for that matter, with the boys around. They can't really entertain themselves, and they ALWAYS are wanting my attention in some shape or form. Geesh who do they think they are??? Babies or something? :) so it took a lot longer but I made a bunch of food. They tried a little bit today and it wasn't a huge hit. We had some gagging, but I'm hoping they will get used to it. I am determined that they will eat all of this food and it won't go to waste. As Nathan's grandmother is fond of saying..... You will eat salad! The boys WILL eat this baby food. I'll post some of the recipes later and keep you posted on the progress.

Little Stinkers

So this past weekend The Girlchick and I went to get the car washed.  She loves to stand on the little steps that lead up to the viewing area and watch all the cars go through.  She is just full of questions about the cars, their owners, the color soap, why the dryer is so loud, you name it or she sees it and she has a question about it.  I try to give her an honest answer for her questions, but it is tiring trying to keep up.  So our car finally makes it through the wash and we are sitting outside waiting for them to finish with it.  By this time she has asked to go potty, asked for drink out of the vending machine, asked for a snack out of the vending machine and exclaimed that she is SOOOOOOOOOO thirsty and SOOOOOOOOOOOO hungry and she really really really needs something to eat and drink.  She is really serious, really really serious.  I keep telling her no, that she has water in the car, and if she had eaten all her lunch she wouldn't be hungry.  Two young boys walk by with a cellophane package, she of course spies it and says "mommy they have a snack from the vending machine, I want one."  I look to see what they have and I tell her that no - it's an air freshener package.  She asks what that is and I tell her that it makes the air in the car smell better.  She says that we need one, and I tell her no that our car doesn't smell.  She proceeds to argue with me that it does.  I then ask her why and tell her it doesn't smell in front where I am, does it smell in the back where you are?  She said that yes it does.  I ask her why - did you leave food back there or something?  She says - no I fart all the time and they are stinky.  I really really had to try and not bust out laughing, but she was so cute.  I just grabbed her and hugged her and told her I loved her and that she makes me smile and happy all the time!  BTW - Her nickname is Stinkers for a reason.

Not really a stellar day in our house.

Day two of posting.  Not really a stellar day in our house. Thing #1 has been pretty sick and running a high fever, it is a bit concerning since his normal doctor hasn't been available to see him and we have had to see someone else.  It's tough seeing a doctor you don't know very well and doesn't know your child.  It's also frustrating when the doctor examines your child, but still leaves you with little confidence in what he is telling you is wrong.  The doctor even called this morning to check on him, he gets kudos for that, but Thing #1 is still running a fever and not much better.  Now Thing #2 started running a fever, not as high as #1, but still a fever.  I really hate the in and out of the doctor's office and feeling like my kids are never healthy.  I hate having to put them on antibiotics all the time.  But what do you do?  Let them suffer for longer than needed because I don't want to give them meds?  But are you building up resistance to the meds because you have to use them so often?  I was really hoping that having them home would be better, but I guess I will never be completely free of the germs and illnesses unless I put them in a bubble.  Trust me I am seriously thinking about it at this point.  I guess I may need to reset my expectations.  I know I may seem like I am whining, I know that there are others who have it worse and are worse off, but that doesn't mean that I still don't get frustrated and upset and need to vent about it.

Since the boys weren't feeling great today they didn't sleep to well today.  Which makes for very cranky babies at the end of the day.  Which leads to very frustrated mommy and daddy.  Poor Girlchick, she just wanted toothpaste, poor dad just needed to use the potty, and mom just wanted the boys to stop screaming and nurse.  It makes for a perfect storm that just proves to me again that I am not perfect and I need to try harder and remember to take a deep breath.  I do not like yelling at my daughter, I hate it actually.  I really wish I could stop myself in the moment of being that upset and angry, and take that step back and take the much needed breath and not yell at my child.  But I'm not perfect and I know it is going to happen, I just really wish it happened less.  I do apologize to her, I do always make it a point to do that.  But it doesn't make it any better that I lost my temper and yelled in the first place.

Now I need cake - yes I realize I'm an emotional eater, no need to point out the obvious.  There is a reason my butt is the size of Texas.

More about me and our family.

My husband & I met at work back in 2000.  We started dating in 2001 and got married in May of 2004.  We finally decided that we would start our family in 2005 (I wasn't getting any younger and that clock was ticking VERY loud) and we had our daughter, aka the girlchick, in late 2006.  We love our daughter very much, she is the source of a lot of happiness for both me and my husband, but also a source of great frustration since she is just as stubborn as we are if not more so.  But she is our world and we wouldn't change a thing about her. 

It took us some time to decide if we wanted to have more kids.  We are both only children (I say I'm an only child since I grew up that way, I have a 1/2 brother that is almost 11 years younger than I am and we grew up separately, so for all intents and purposes I am an only child, I don't share and I'm very selfish), and we’re very happy to have just one.  We grew up that way and we turned out just fine!  We went back and forth each switching sides several times before actually making a decision.  The deciding factor for me was when my mom passed away.  It was a very, very tough time for me since she and I were extremely close.  I had to go through it all by myself, I felt very alone and felt like I had no one that I could relate to.  I didn't want my daughter to go through that same process when we passed away.  Just dealing with the logistics of it was exhausting - to have a funeral service, to not have one, to have her cremated or to bury her.  It was all up to me to decide what to do.  I wanted help making all these decisions and to know it was what she would have wanted.  Plus dealing with mad relatives who were upset and grieving but took their anger out on me.  It was hard to deal with by myself.

So we decided to try again.  I had to do a lot of convincing of my husband, I was older, our daughter was older and we were settled into a nice family routine.  Plus my husband was in one of the "not having any more kids" phases and was ready to take the big plunge and get "snipped".  I was finally able to talk him into trying for just one more.

So we did it.  It took a little longer than we expected and it wasn't as easy to get pregnant as it was the first time, but it finally happened the good old fashioned way.  We went to the doctor and they had a little trouble trying to find the heartbeat at first, they just chalked it up to being too early and that maybe the embryo had implanted a little higher in the uterus.  So we came back in 2 weeks and they found the heartbeat and everything was going along just as planned, well except for me being EXTREMELY sick. 

With me being such "advanced maternal age" they wanted to do some additional tests that I didn't get when I was pregnant with The Girlchick.  At 12 weeks they wanted to do a Down Syndrome test.  It was a little different than with our daughter and more accurate, they take blood and do an ultrasound to do a nuchal translucency screening test on the back of the neck.  Well when they went to do the ultrasound, I was really sick and was already having issues with my pants buttoning, so I jokingly told the tech to "just make sure there is only one in there", she just laughed like she heard that joke all day long.  She then put the wand on my stomach and two little circles popped up on the screen.  I just kinda looked at it in shock, and waited for her to say something since I wasn't really sure what I was looking at.  Then she said - "yep, there's still two in there", I then said "what????? You're sh^ting me! I can't believe this!  You're serious??????”  She said that she was and I just kept repeating the same thing over and over, and then said I can't believe this, my husband is late for the appointment and you are telling me that we are having twins.  It finally dawned on her that this was a fact that I didn't know before.  Apparently she thought I was messing with her and actually knew there were two in there and trying to play it off like there should be only one.  Then she said well we'll just wait for him to get here, we won't go any further until he gets here.  Right at that moment a knock came and he came into the room.  She waited for him to get settled and put the wand back on my stomach.  Two little circles came up on the screen and I asked him what he saw.  It took him a few minutes and me prompting him several times, but he finally said "wait.... what?  TWO???" and I confirmed that we were having twins, and then he said his famous words that neither of us will forget...... "That’s not in the budget". 

So we were having twins, then the shock came that this was not going to be a normal pregnancy.  They first diagnosed me with Mo/Mo twins – it’s when they share the same amniotic sac as well as the same chorionic sac (which is the outer membrane).  Luckily it turned out that there was a thin membrane separating them.  I ended up having a lot of extra doctor’s visits to monitor everything and in the end had 2 healthy boys that were carried to 37 weeks, which is considered to be full term for twins. 

It has been rather crazy since that day in April 2011.  Poor Girlchick just had her world completely rocked.  Not one baby, but two babies!  Although some say she knew all along – she had it in her head that there were going to be two babies – it’s what she wanted from the beginning, but she wanted sisters and not brothers.  I keep telling her that she will be very happy that she won’t have little sisters getting into her clothes and make up later, but she still insists that she would have rather had little sisters.  Overall she has adjusted pretty well.  None of the craziness that you would expect out of a five year old who now has to share mommy, daddy and grandma.  Although she is more willing to share mom and dad than she is Grandma.  Grandma is very special to The Girlchick and The Girlchick is very special to Grandma.  I hope it stays that way forever. 

Thing 1 and Thing 2, aka the boys, have had a pretty normal start except for getting sick.  With the combination of them being “early” at 37 weeks, and having to go to daycare, they have gotten pretty sick.  Their immune system just isn’t as hearty as it should be since it needed a little extra cook time.  They had to have tubes pretty early at 6 months, and we ended up having to take them out of daycare and switch them to in-home care.  It’s turned out for the best though.  They still get sick, just not as often or as bad.  They will eventually go back to daycare, but we decided that it was best to let them build their systems up a little before they went back.

That is the quick version of our story and gets you up to speed.  The Girlchick is 5 and excited to start kindergarten and the boys are 9 months old. 

Let the journey begin – thanks for joining me along for the ride.