Deep Breath, take it easy, remember to enjoy the momment

I have several other blogs that I follow and enjoy.  One of them has been on my mind a lot and has really shaken me up.  Her 14 month old son died of SIDS (actually in older children they call it SUCD).  This has always been one of my greatest fears about having children.  SIDS and SUCD are things you can't protect against or prepare for, it just happens with no reason or explanation.  I'm a planner and organizer (not always but at least for the most part), and this is something that was completely and totally out of my control.  Hence it being one of my greatest fears.  I was also under the assumption (and you know what happens when you assume...) that the threat was gone at 12 months.  Apparently I was wrong and there have been children that have died at 3 years of age.  The odds do decrease, but still, it worries me.

I also recently read 2 articles about 2 other children, one about a child who was only 9 months old and wasn't expected to live much longer since she has a condition that makes her body regress.  The other article is about a little boy that was diagnosed with Tay-Sachs and only lived to see his 3rd birthday. 

All of these stories have a very common theme.  Don't worry about the small stuff like cleaning your house, doing your laundry, doing the dishes, it's ok to let it pile up.  Try to remember to take a deep breath when you are feeling frustrated with your kids.  Don't be distracted when you are supposed to be spending time with your kids, put down the smartphone and engage your child, cherish your child, nothing is forever.  This hits me hard and is a big wake up call.

Nothing is forever.  There is only now, the moment, the love you bear, the knowledge that loving is about letting go and not sweating the small stuff. 

All of us are mortal; all of us will die, but we don’t like to think about it. Instead we focus on our achievements, and often those of our children. What will they do? Who will they become? How can I provide for them the best possible future? Of course this is part of the task of parenting; to usher a child into the world and prepare them to prosper within it.

Will we be fearless in our pursuit to live a life we consider big and beautiful, no matter what other people might think of our choices and no matter what difficult changes we might have to make? How does this knowledge affect the way we parent? Not knowing what tomorrow will bring, would we be so concerned with our children’s “progress” and perhaps more interested in activities that simply make them happy?  It makes you remember that a child is a person, not a project. Ease up. Chaos will find all of us eventually (in my house it is an everyday almost hourly occurrence), but in the moment, how can you be fully present? How can you love your child purely and simply, with no agenda, without a goal, without a net?  It's easy to forget how to do these things and that these things are important. 

Remember to just breathe, take it easy not only on yourself but your kids too.  No one is perfect - nor should you be.  Enjoy the momment and cherish it for what it is.  Nothing is forever.  Hopefully you have your whole lifetime with your kids and will never have such a tradgedy and heartache like the ones above that got me started on this whole string of thoughts in the first place. I always seem to  need a reminder to just breathe and take it easy.