My Dad just passed away. He was 63 years old. He died from a serious brain injury he sustained from a motorcycle accident. From what we have been told he was trying to enter a major interstate and was trying to merge with traffic and did not notice a stalled concrete truck and that traffic had started to back up and stop. He laid down his bike, which is what you are supposed to do. But it seems that he came off of his bike and that he struck the bumper of the car that was stopped in front of him. He wasn't wearing a helmet and had to be life flighted to the hospital. He survived the crash but the damage to his brain was too much to recover from and my brother and I had to make the decision to remove life support. It has been a stressful time, from being at hospital and having to deal with everything to planning his funeral and dealing with his estate. There are a lot of details and I feel like I'm missing things.
A big thing I struggled with was how to tell the Girlchick. She knew that there was stuff going on at our house, but didn't quite understand what. Nathan and I told her that Grandpa Pat was no longer with us and that he was now in heaven. She said that she was really sad and was upset that she hadn't seen him that much. Luckily we had just seen him 2 weeks prior for Grammy's birthday. The other thing that we really struggled with was if we should allow her to go to the funeral. She is very sensitive to certain things. Like the bad guys in disney movies really upset her. Like when she went to see the Chipmunks movie she started crying and freaking out when the volcano on the island erupted. Or she has nightmares about Lucifer from the Fox and the Hound movie. Things that don't really seem like a big deal to us really affect her. Grandma says that she would have taken Nathan at his age, but points out that Nathan was a different kid. I know I struggle as an adult seeing a person in a coffin. It creeps me out, I don't like it. I don't like being in the same room and won't go up to the casket. I didn't even do it with my dad. I'm not sure why, but it does. I was able to say goodbye to both him and my mom in the hospital after they passed, but it is something about seeing a dead body in a casket that I have issues with. If I can't deal with it then how can I expect a 5 yr old to deal with it? So eventually we made the decision that she would not go. We will take her at some point to see his headstone and take some flowers for her to put on the grave so she can say her own goodbyes. It was not an easy choice. She has started to worry about mom and dad suddenly not being there and has been asking a lot of questions about us going away and not being there tomorrow like Grandpa Pat. We have to keep reassuring her and telling her that we are not going anywhere for a long long time.
So that is what has been going on for the last couple of weeks. I end with my 3 PSA's.
1. Where a helmet - I understand liking to ride, I like to ride myself. But wear a helmet it could save your life. The only other injuries my dad had were 2 broken ribs and a little road rash on his leg and elbow. He still may not have survived since there was a lot of the ricochet effect on his brain, but he would have had a chance.
2. Have a will and make sure it is valid. It just makes it easier on everything and everyone. In the state of Texas a will has be signed and witness by 2 people not in the will or living with you at the time the will was created. Or you can handwrite it and sign it.
3. Pay for and prearrange your funeral. It is not cheap.
We love you!!!
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